@Erin: I’m going to write a blog post to answer your questions. I think that if I tried to write it out in a comment, it would be ridiculously long. I’m currently working on it and I’ll probably have it up tomorrow.

It’s funny how I don’t really care what people read about me but I still censor myself. I mean, really, so what if they know I’m trans? So what if they know that I’m afraid of everything known to man? It doesn’t really matter and yet I still have reservations about being open. On my own blog.

I feel like I know you — through IRC, 9rule, your blog, take your pick — but I’m so curious about how your life really is. I mean, you are a guy, that’s how I know you… I can’t imagine anything else. If you’re willing and comfortable talking about it, how is it that your family, your coworkers (?), etc. know you as a woman? How does that feel for you? How do you walk the line between who knows you as Josh, and who knows you as Jess?

Parents, on the other hand, I can understand. We, as children, can be proud of ourselves for so many reasons, and yet, it isn’t ever enough for our parents. Coming out as transgender, making those tough, life-altering decisions should show your parents that they’re raised a strong, responsible, resilient, self-sufficient child. Of course they don’t see it that way, but that’s the truth of it. My parents are the same way – I’ve achieved goals by living in CR and really succeeding as a writer, but somehow, my whole life is borderline irresponsible and selfish.

Despite it all, I completely understand how you feel. If my parents found and read my blog, they’d certainly see sides to me that they’d never met before. I’m not ashamed of myself in any way, but it just seems easier to hide certain, irrelevant things from them, in order to make our interactions easier. So I hide things, like not being religious or believing in sex before marriage (my mother would die), because it’s easier. And I do censor myself sometimes, just in case they stumble along my blog someday. Sucks, but it’s the truth.

Okay, I lied. Why was she going through your stuff anyway?