Josh Anastasia

So really, what is there to say? Nothing. I don’t have a computer. My sister is using mine, she can’t find the keyboard or the mouse so that I can fix hers, and my dad is trying to keep me off of his computer. Why is he trying to keep me off the internet you might ask…? He thinks the internet is the reason that I’m transgender. He blames the internet for warping my mind, brain washing me, or whatever. Really? That’s sort of lame.

But that whole situation is really another post, because I’m in a super good mood right now and I just don’t want to get pissed off and depressed about something as idiotic as that.

I’m pretty sick of all of the politics revolving around the presidential race. Not only that, I’m pretty sick of politics in general. So the other day I was talking to Mandy, of course, and we decided we’re taking over the world. She’s going to be the Queen. I, of course, will be known as Dominator Josh. However, it won’t necessarily be a monarchy or a dictatorship. It’ll be a dictator democracy.

I’m going to rule until I die, then someone else will rule till they die, etc. But the “people” will elect representatives and they will pass most of the laws. I already have some members of my cabinet. Comment and you too can be a member.

Alright, so really, this post isn’t about me taking over the world, but about me dating. I’ve been struggling between dating and not dating. Then there was the problem of who to date. It is surprising to even me that I would have a problem of who to date. It’s not often that I have that problem.

Reasons I Don’t Want To Date

• Relationships are bullshit and are overrated. To me they are at least.
• There are a few exceptions to this one but for the most part I am not too fond of women anymore.
• I hate the games. No matter what people say, there’s always games involved. Inevitably, someone always plays a game. I hate them.
• I don’t trust anyone. It’s hard to believe the things that people say because it’s hard to tell if it’s the truth or if it’s not.
• Getting serious. I don’t want a serious relationship. I don’t want any sort of commitment other than “I’ll meet you at 8 for the movie on Friday.” I can possibly commit longer than a week, but really, I’m not so sure I want to.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve turned into the biggest asshole. I look back now and think what the fuck was I thinking. I mean, yes, I don’t want to date, but I don’t need to lead a girl on and find someone else, lead her on, and get so confused I have no idea what’s going on. I still have no idea what’s going on, but at least I stopped doing that. I’m not an asshole, generally, and I’m not a player, hardly ever, so that was a huge slap in the face when I realized that that was what I was doing. But I’ve figured it out now.

I’m going on a date. With one person. Only one person. And it took me awhile to figure out that I do want to date, but I needed to have boundaries and rules, and I needed to be able to move slow, at my own pace.

Reasons Why I Want To Date

• I’m going to sound like a total asshole, but I want to have sex. I can’t have sex with someone I don’t care about on some level. So that means, I would need to be dating someone.
• I like having someone around. I mean, I have the world’s greatest friends, but sometimes you just need to cuddle. And even though I’ve convinced myself what friends can cuddle, somehow I just don’t think it’s really ok when one of them has a boyfriend, and you kind of don’t want to be just friends with that person who has a boyfriend.
• I’m kind of sick of hanging out with my sisters.
• I actually really like this girl. I don’t “love” her or whatever, but I like her, and I would like to see where it goes. In a slow, not serious sort of way.