Lately I’ve been writing a lot about how my parents were in denial about my situation. At first it angered me, then I just realized that they needed their time to figure things out and I was okay with it. But now it seems like they’ve moved on to a different “stage” and they’ve been acting really weird lately.

It’s no secret that my parents and I have had a not so ideal relationship. At times, it was a pretty bad relationship where we didn’t even talk to each other. But for the past couple of days they’ve been acting really weird. They’ve been talking to me more, which is a bit odd, but on top of that, they’ve been doing nice things for me. They buy me my soy milk, which before I would either have to get it, or give them money to buy it for me. Now they just get it themselves. My mom and dad have been planning meals that I can actually eat, mostly meatless meals. But at least I’m not starving now. My dad bought me lunch yesterday and he even remembered what I liked and what I couldn’t eat.

The other night my dad took me out to a bar. Granted, I shouldn’t have been at a bar considering I’m not supposed to drink, but I hadn’t ever really been to a bar with my dad unless it involved some sort of gambling. I figured it’s just something you should do with your parents, and I guess that’s how he bonds. I didn’t have to pay for a drink the whole night and we ended up leaving the bar at 3AM and had to be driven home by my uncle. Trust me when I say I won’t be drinking anymore, ever. Not only did I start to get heart palps towards the end of the night, but the next day I literally couldn’t do anything because I was so weak. And no, it wasn’t a hangover, I don’t get those.

Their change towards me makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’m not used to them being nice to me, or being considerate of my situation, or just being considerate period. I don’t really know how to deal with that. I realize they aren’t the same people they were ten years ago, but there’s a huge part of me that doesn’t really trust what’s happening right now because of that.

I’ve also been noticing a lot of things that I’ve been doing that I definitely wouldn’t have done a month ago. I’ve been more outgoing, which is a bit odd, because I normally have panic attacks. I went to the grocery store and almost got ran over by a college girl’s shopping cart. The two girls said something about being bad drivers and I said something back. I don’t remember what. But then again, I can’t remember jack shit these days. Anyway, we got to talking and we are keeping in touch. Which is odd. I don’t ever recall making friends like that because I am usually too scared or panicky to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger like that.

It’s been a very weird week. Almost like what’s been happening, isn’t really happening.