My experiences with road rage have been minimal, to say the least. I grew up with a mom who likes to drop f-bombs at every other driver, along with other words and phrases that are too inappropriate for me to mention. But that’s about it. If someone had cut my mom off she wouldn’t have sped up and ridden their ass. She would just swear at them, and occasionally flip them off.
Growing up in a small town, road rage never really was an issue. It literally takes 15 minutes to get from one side of town to the other, so not many people are in a hurry. Even if they’re running late, it’s not a big deal. Most people are pretty laid back about time. I was, honestly, a bit naive.
Bigger cities have bigger traffic
I’m smart. It’s no secret that I don’t like to drive. If I don’t have to then I won’t. It’s annoying and I’d rather be looking at the scenery than watching the guy in front of me pick his nose, smoke a cigarette, and talk on his cell phone all at the same time. So when I lived at home, great, I didn’t have to drive on most occasions because that’s what my parents were for. My mom doesn’t work so any chance she had of getting out of the house she takes. Running around with me on my ten minute errands were a great way for her to get away from my pain-in-the-ass dad and sisters.
But when I moved away, I found myself having to drive more. This wasn’t good. Even though I had been driving a car by myself since I was 8 (yes, really, and no, not in traffic) I wasn’t prepared for big city driving. I make it no secret that I think more than half the population is dumber than I am. I’m not saying I’m smarter than most people, I’m just saying that I’m smarter than more than half. 
First, people who have a low IQ shouldn’t even be allowed to have licenses. Second, people that feel the need to multi-task while driving, like talking on your cell phone, picking your nose, and putting on your make-up, shouldn’t be allowed to hold licenses either. The more distracted you are, the more likely you’re going to get into an accident, or cause an accident. So, half the people I know, wouldn’t be allowed to drive. It would make the world that much safer.
There are reasons why there are speed limits. There are reasons why there are stop signs, stop lights, yield signs, cross walks, emergency lights, school speed zones, and turning lanes. Speed limits not only keep traffic going but they also offer a way to make your driving experience 5% safer. (It should be noted that I’m pulling this out of my ass, but you get the point.) You want to speed a little, go ahead. But if you’re going 80 in a 65, or 90 in a 65, don’t you think that’s a little…unsafe…a little…stupid? I have no problem with going 70 in a 65, and on occasion I’ve been known to go 75 in a 65, I’m not a complete square.
But what happens when people speed on streets? The flow of traffic becomes faster, making it necessary for other drivers to speed up a little bit. It also seems, to me at least, that the faster people are going, the more likely they are to get pissed off at the stupid little things involved with driving. Like when someone needs to change lanes, decides to change lanes, etc.
This leads me to…
Defensive driving vs. Aggressive driving
When I first got my license and took a driving course, our “teacher” told us to be defensive drivers. Meaning, don’t fuck around, pay attention, be courteous, and heed the laws of the land, er, roads. Well, a majority of people driving now say “fuck you” to that and have follow aggressive driving like it’s a religion.
The aggressive drivers are the ones who you want to swear at, give them nice hand gestures, or wish that a cop was around doing their job when they should be instead of at Burger King, the gas station, or Dunkin Donuts. To you I say “fuck you” because you’re the reason I hate driving, the reason I almost shit my pants everytime I enter the freeway, and the reason I’m considering wearing diapers whenever I get into a car.
The road is not your own personal speedway. You want to race, drive fast, almost crash into people, start driving the NASCAR circuit, because that kind of driving is not meant for public roads.
Now my girlfriend…
Ness isn’t a bad driver. Not at all. Most of the time I feel very safe while she’s driving. However, when one of those aggressive drivers comes out and starts acting stupid in front of her, she turns into an aggressive driver herself. She has a very short temper for idiotic people with licenses and cars.
The other day we drove to Akron to hang out with Gay Boy Aaron. It’s ok to call him Gay Boy Aaron, that’s what he goes by. No, Ness and I weren’t drunk. We only had a drink and then left. Anyway…onto the story.
Ness has a different version, her version, of the story, but she can tell that because she’s stubborn and wants to think that she’s right in most situations. That’s one of the reasons why I love her, because I used to be like that until I realized that I wasn’t right all the time, although I’m right 95% of the time.
We were coming home, everything was great, until we had to get off the highway and get gas. We get off the highway, the gas station we went to was closed and had to find our way back to the freeway. Due to construction, we had a hard time finding the entrance, but we did manage to find another, open, gas station. Now, to find the entrance to the freeway. We follow the detour signs, Ness is becoming impatient, and so am I. I snap at her and tell her to look at the signs. I calmed down, apologized to her once we found the freeway. I shouldn’t have snapped at her.
Everything is going well for the first few minutes, then some asshole decides he needs to ride our ass because he can. Ness starts getting pissed off. I would too, but how we react to these kinds of situations is completely different.
Ness has to change lanes to switch onto a different freeway, but she doesn’t realize it until you almost can’t switch lanes. Another car is in the right lane, beeps at Ness to say “Hey, watch it, I’m doing my thing in the right lane, hold your pants on.” Ness gets pissed off thinking this was the same guy who was riding her ass all the way down the freeway. It wasn’t. That guy kept going. Well, she decides to ride on his ass. I ask her to not do it, I tell her to not do it, I beg her to not do it. Finally, after I’m almost about to cry from frustration of her not doing the right thing and scaring me to death, she changes lanes and ends up flipping the guy off. It wasn’t even the right guy and she flips him off! I was speechless, and I got mad. I didn’t talk to her the rest of the ride home.
All I ask…
I won’t sit there and tell you that you’re a bad driver. I don’t care how you drive when I’m in the passenger seat, because it’s not my business. All I ask is that you don’t scare the shit out of me and make me feel safe since your hands are the ones driving the two ton piece of steel.
7 Comments
Ah… makes you long for rural roads? Eh?
The only thing I disagree upon is the ban upon multitasking. While many people shouldn’t be able to do it (mostly those who are already unlicensed for being stupid) I think that some people should be able to do it. After all, it isn’t that hard to carry on your typical phone conversation… I think it should be at the drivers discretion whether they multitask or not. They’ll pay the price in court (and the hospital) if they try to multitask and can’t.
I get road rage, but I think I’ll rationalize that by saying it’s a part of LA “culture.” I know. It’s bad. But also, after having driven in Italy where stop lights are suggestions and stop signs are practically ignored…lane paint goes totally unseen and people make turns from the furthest lane ALL THE TIME, not to mention change lanes in the middle of piazza (plaza or square) turnabouts…my road rage in LA has essentially subsided. Since I couldn’t afford to have road rage in Italy (there is none there), it made me see how futile and petty road rage is, here.
@Arthus: Not everyone that multi-tasks is a bad driver, that’s correct. But there’s a reason why states are now banning talking on your cellphone without a head set. It’s a distraction. One that can be avoided. And in some cases, is dangerous. But if you’re talking on your cell phone, picking your nose, putting on your make up, and driving 90, that’s definitely not a good thing.
Esther: I think road rage is becoming a part of US culture, not just LA. When I drove in LA, it was bad, but I’m noticing that it’s spreading like wild fire to other cities.
I fully support legislation regarding the required use of hands-free technologies. I agree it is an unnecessary physical restriction which we would do best to remove. However, I oppose any government efforts to intervene mentally/sensually - multithinking should be our decision.
This is why we all need subways! Have you ever ridden a subway? Maybe I’m just channeling my 7 year old self, but I really enjoy riding the subway trains in Washington D.C.
If we all had subways, the world would be a happier place.
This is the reason that I don’t drive. It’s far too frustrating, anxiety-inducing, and downright dangerous. That’s why I take the bus. If we’re in an accident, the vehicle I’m in isn’t going to be the one stuck with the short straw.
Arthus: There’s a difference between multi-tasking and multi-thinking. I’m in no way saying that the government should control your thoughts, however, it has every right to pass legislation that makes actions that make the majority of citizens safe or safer.
Peroty: I love public transportation. If I was closer to a bus stop I would take the bus more often, but I haven’t really acclimated myself to Cleveland’s public transportation as of yet since I haven’t had the need to go anywhere that I had to use it.
Erin: If I were to ever get a big SUV or truck, that would be the only reason why.