Josh

Coming out as Trans was definately the hardest thing that I’ve done so far in my life. It was also one of the best things that I’ve ever done. But coming out online, on my website, where so many people could look back at it, people that don’t know me could read it, or my family could see it was a scary thing. I didn’t know how people would react, and I definately didn’t think that my parents would be cool with it. I was surprised that people took this news so well; people like my online friends, my real life friends, and most shockingly of all, my parents.

Twenty years from now am I going to look back, after I’ve transitioned and started a “new” life, will I regret being so transparent about my situation? Will having most of my life plastered around the internet slow down my growth as a man? Will it hold me back? These are the things I worry about on occasion. Right now I don’t regret any of this. It’s been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. If it weren’t for my website, my parents wouldn’t be getting to know the real me. So I guess in a way, because I came out online, I’m forging a deeper relationship with my parents.

God knows that twenty years from now I’ll still have a website. I’m too egotistical and awesome to not have a website. But will I be comfortable with my kids looking at the archives? Or what about their friends? Or their friends parents? I shouldn’t worry about any of it. Especially now. But I don’t want my decisions now to jump up to bite me in the ass twenty years from now.

There are a lot of great people out there. They accept me, they accept my situation, and that’s it. But there are more people out there that don’t accept it. That would rather not have “my kind” around. Granted, I think that these people are uneducated, unintelligent fools and I don’t think I’d entertain half of them, but these could very well be the kind of people who are the parents of my children’s friends. You know, when I have kids.

I hope I don’t look back at this post and say I was right. That I shouldn’t have led an open, transparent, online life. Google search can dig up loads of shit on someone. We’ll see though. I would love to look back and think that this was still one of the best things that I could have ever possibly done.

Categorized as Transgender