Josh

Gaby always asks me why I don’t write about her on my blog. I used to, I just stopped when we started dating. It’s one thing to talk about someone when you’re leading up to a relationship, its a whole other thing when you’re in a relationship.

It’s not that I didn’t want to write about Gaby, I just didn’t want people all in our business. No offense to any of her friends that read the blog, but it’s none of your business or anyone else’s. So when Gaby would ask, and continues to ask about her blog post, I said I didn’t know what to write about. Which is also true.

I stopped writing about you because I respected you, because I respected our relationship, because I respected our privacy. Anyone with internet access can get to this site, like say, one of your co-workers, and would have put two and two together. What would have happened if the people you work with found out about us?

Would writing about you have saved our relationship? Would it make it stronger? Would it have made us closer? No, it wouldn’t have.

Ten years from now, I’m not going to need a blog post to remind me of you or the time we spent together. We have wonderful and amazing memories that no blog post could capture accurately. I don’t need them to remind me of you. More than anything, this blog is for me. I don’t write it for other people. And I didn’t need to write about you, because I had you. Now that I don’t, I have pictures, I have letters, I have a scrapbook, I have memories stuck in my head that won’t ever go away. You mean a lot to me, and you’ll always mean a lot to me, but I didn’t think that writing about you was ever a big deal. I wanted to keep you all to myself.

Now, I’m sorting through all of my feelings, doing a lot of growing up, making a lot of changes. A lot of things are going on in my life right now. I’ve been sick and I haven’t felt well, I’m dealing with coming to terms with the fact that when I get ready to come out as an FtM to everyone I might lose them all, I’m trying to figure out my next move. Gaby, just because I don’t write about you, doesn’t make you less important.

You’re very smooth and symmetrical.

Categorized as General