Comments on: Coming Out Was A Bitch http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/ i am awesome Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:26:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Only myself to blame http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-1106 Only myself to blame Thu, 13 Mar 2008 07:12:32 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-1106 [...] to be more honest with my parents. The last time I had a serious conversation with my parents was when I told them that I was trans.  That didn’t go very well. It was a defining moment in my life. Up until that point, I [...] [...] to be more honest with my parents. The last time I had a serious conversation with my parents was when I told them that I was trans.  That didn’t go very well. It was a defining moment in my life. Up until that point, I [...]

]]> By: Josh http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-37 Josh Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:44:04 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-37 My dad is coming around and as for my mom, she's still pretty sensitive about the whole thing. But I'm just giving them time. When they want to talk about it, they'll let me know. I'm super excited to have my old content up as well. I missed it! My dad is coming around and as for my mom, she’s still pretty sensitive about the whole thing. But I’m just giving them time. When they want to talk about it, they’ll let me know.

I’m super excited to have my old content up as well. I missed it!

]]> By: ender http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-38 ender Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:21:52 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-38 wonderful post ... i take it from later posts that your folks are more understanding now? (i hope) (and i'm ecstatic the archives are up now :) ) wonderful post … i take it from later posts that your folks are more understanding now? (i hope)

(and i’m ecstatic the archives are up now :) )

]]> By: Josh http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-42 Josh Wed, 01 Nov 2006 20:41:48 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-42 Hey Erin! Thanks for your opinion. I know my parents love me, even if they show it in a weird way sometimes. When I was a little kid, I was always "daddy's girl", and for them it would be like that little girl is dead, and from my point of view, never even existed. What I don't think they realize, or if they ever will, is that I'm still the same person, no matter my physical gender. It's going to be hard for them to come to terms with that, and I'm giving them time. But I'm reaching the point where the time I give them is holding me back from transitioning. Maybe they'll come around, maybe they won't, but they'll have to live with it. Hey Erin! Thanks for your opinion. I know my parents love me, even if they show it in a weird way sometimes. When I was a little kid, I was always “daddy’s girl”, and for them it would be like that little girl is dead, and from my point of view, never even existed. What I don’t think they realize, or if they ever will, is that I’m still the same person, no matter my physical gender. It’s going to be hard for them to come to terms with that, and I’m giving them time. But I’m reaching the point where the time I give them is holding me back from transitioning. Maybe they’ll come around, maybe they won’t, but they’ll have to live with it.

]]> By: Erin http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-41 Erin Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:18:34 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-41 I think all of us experience a [very scary and eye-opening] time in our lives when we realize that our parents (or insert whatever roll model you choose) aren't perfect, and it usually has something to do with us. I don't support your parents' attitude, of course, but I can sympathize with them. They are probably scared and unsure of what to expect. You are their little girl, and as parents say, "you always will be." Except that maybe you won't... and I bet that's a terrifying thought to them. The only way we relate to our parents when we're young is through the power-powerless relation, and all of a sudden, they are blindsided with a huge decision that they have no control over. Futhermore, adults are just kids in big bodies. They're (should I say "we're" ;) ) just as subject to peer pressure as any teenager on the schoolbus, and your parents obviously care about the opinions of others. It doesn't matter whether that is right or wrong because it just <em>is</em>. I can't give you specific advice because I have not ever been in your situation. What I <em>can</em> say is that I've made some difficult decisions where my parents told me that they'd never be able to speak to me again, either. I made the decisions for me because I decided that my own happiness had to be more important than theirs. (This is, after all, <em>YOUR</em> life. They have their own to live.) But parents are remarkably resilient... mine love me more than ever now. I think that once parents get over their lack of control and the scary situation stabilizes itself, they see how happy we are and they realize that our happiness is all they really wanted in the first place, world be damned. But then again, that's just my opinion. You know your parents. Much luck, Josh! I think all of us experience a [very scary and eye-opening] time in our lives when we realize that our parents (or insert whatever roll model you choose) aren’t perfect, and it usually has something to do with us.

I don’t support your parents’ attitude, of course, but I can sympathize with them. They are probably scared and unsure of what to expect. You are their little girl, and as parents say, “you always will be.” Except that maybe you won’t… and I bet that’s a terrifying thought to them. The only way we relate to our parents when we’re young is through the power-powerless relation, and all of a sudden, they are blindsided with a huge decision that they have no control over. Futhermore, adults are just kids in big bodies. They’re (should I say “we’re” ;) ) just as subject to peer pressure as any teenager on the schoolbus, and your parents obviously care about the opinions of others. It doesn’t matter whether that is right or wrong because it just is.

I can’t give you specific advice because I have not ever been in your situation. What I can say is that I’ve made some difficult decisions where my parents told me that they’d never be able to speak to me again, either. I made the decisions for me because I decided that my own happiness had to be more important than theirs. (This is, after all, YOUR life. They have their own to live.) But parents are remarkably resilient… mine love me more than ever now. I think that once parents get over their lack of control and the scary situation stabilizes itself, they see how happy we are and they realize that our happiness is all they really wanted in the first place, world be damned.

But then again, that’s just my opinion. You know your parents. Much luck, Josh!

]]> By: Josh http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-40 Josh Wed, 01 Nov 2006 01:55:00 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-40 Dominique: Thank you for your words. It's important for everyone to have support, especially when coming to terms with who we really are and during our transition. Dominique: Thank you for your words. It’s important for everyone to have support, especially when coming to terms with who we really are and during our transition.

]]> By: dominique http://joshanastasia.com/2006/10/31/coming-out-was-a-bitch/#comment-39 dominique Tue, 31 Oct 2006 18:14:59 +0000 http://joshanastasia.com/?p=143#comment-39 Hi i am still trying to express the true me, for so long I've been locked up in this male persona it hurts deep but now I've decided to bring out the woman in me.Even more so than in the past i go where there are others like us who desire to be free where we can touch upon subjects that can strengthen and nurture our growth.thank you for this article. Sincerely, Dominique M. Cote Hi i am still trying to express the true me, for so long I’ve been locked up in this male persona it hurts deep but now I’ve decided to bring out the woman in me.Even more so than in the past i go where there are others like us who desire to be free where we can touch upon subjects that can strengthen and nurture our growth.thank you for this article. Sincerely, Dominique M. Cote

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